A Lesson in Letting Go

I'm a control freak (just ask my husband). Of course, my desire for control has its limits. It does not, for example, leak into the realm of a perfectly ordered and perfectly tidy home. And it does not mean that I don't appreciate a good surprise or spontaneous adventure every now and again.

But when it comes to planning out our lives, making big decisions (and little ones), and all things regarding my children, I really like to be in control.

Last fall when Madi brought home a writing contest form I was all over it! The theme was: "Together We Can." Oh I had so many great ideas. And I was more than eager to share my ideas with my 10 year old.

However, Madi had already started the story. It was a fiction story about two friends, Peanut Butter and Jelly, who were entering a debate contest together. I read her first couple paragraphs and thought (thank goodness I didn't say it outloud) no no no, this will never work. I tried making some suggestions, but Madi had her mind set on her original idea. I'm afraid to say, I actually stormed off. Like, stomped upstairs and brooded. I returned a little while later to apologize and offer some weak words of encouragement. She worked really hard on her story for the rest of the week. And in the end, I only did a final read-through and only made minor grammar and punctuation suggestions.

Last week, we attended the awards ceremony for the contest. Madi read her entry aloud along with six other finalists. Then came the big moment. The principal announced that Madi's story had won! She was so pleased. She beamed as she shook the principal's hand and took her trophy. And I stood back and watched her enjoy this moment. And it was truly HER moment. I watched as her friends surrounded her to get a look at the trophy and congratulated her.

Now here's the thing. If I would have insisted she use one of my ideas (aka let my controlling nature take over), I would have robbed her of this moment. And I would have robbed myself of watching my daughter shine.

Letting go. It's not easy. But it's a lesson worth learning.