I'm not a happy, positive person by nature. I'm actually very much the opposite (just ask those people who really, really know me). This blog, in fact, is one of my attempts to focus on the good, as a mental, emotional exercise.
But as much as I try to keep the negativity at bay, sometimes the it comes crawling through. And most often, it rears its ugly head most fiercely when it comes to material things.
So let me just grumble and vent and get it over with.
In the past month, I've had three close friends take their families on Disney vacations. And I've had two good friends contract to have their basements refinished. Am I happy for them? Yes. Absolutely. But man, I wish we could do the same. Instead, we've had to change our summer vacation plans because we can't afford what I thought we could. And not only are we no where near being able to refinish our basement, we can't keep up with basic home repairs.
I look around me and I see a lot of affluence. Vacations. Granite. Beautiful homes. Big kitchens. Nice cars. Did I mention vacations?
So why is there such an inequality, why such a discrepancy? My husband works hard, long hours. And I guess I feel like we should have more perks...or specifically, a great vacation and a nice home.
Can you tell I'm feeling very sorry for myself? And for this entry, I'll allow myself this moment of pity, this moment of grumbling, this moment of bitterness. Then when I push publish, I'll try to lock up all the negativity and go about my day.
Breakfast dishes, here I come...
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ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your vent! I have had the worst few days, in fact, when Aaron called on his way home from working this morning, all he said was... How are you? And I broke down in ranting tears!! Sometimes it helps just to know that we are not alone in our venting. It is so easy to sometimes feel guilt over our negativity, but as long as we see it and face it and try to overcome it... well, then we are doing a good job. In the meantime, it was such a comfort in my time of need right now to feel like I wasn't alone!
ReplyDeleteBreakfast dishes, here I come...
Well if it's any consolation we too had to forgo our Fall Disney trip and opt for the very far away beach house (we get to drive this year instead of walk) after a catistrophic tax error that wiped (literally) out our savings. Here's to looking forward to the Disney Trip "sometime in the future" :) ~Jodi
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how you feel friend. 2008 and 2009 were 2 of the worst years for Thomas' business and his diease and I know you know all that happened to us and all that almost happened to us as a result.Then- blessings.We got pregnant when it was the right time (not when we thought it was the right time),were able to be one of the lucky families to take a Disney Vacation last month because of a big tax return (finally)and the 2 friends I think you are talking about are getting their basements done by my husband which is a huge blessing for us!We definitely live in a county of affluence where it doesn't seem fair that those who work so hard have so little to show for it while those that seem to do nothing have so much!All we can do is pray for that positive attitude to come to be able to see everything in the right light. I always hated when my mom would tell me; "bloom where you are planted". It's good advice but we all still need to vent once in a while. :)
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