A Mother's Day Confession

Confession: 100 7th graders are easier for me than my 5 children.

This is a truth I've been wrestling with, rolling around in my mind, and trying to figure out, since I returned home from the Bali 7th grade trip. It all started the night I got home. Tman, in his enthusiasm to greet me, tackled me in a huge hug. His knee hit my mouth (yes, it was that energetic of a hug) and I had a fat lip to show for the love. 

Then the next day, I spent the morning with CJ. We played playdough for an hour, we baked cookies, we practiced ABCs, and we crawled around on the floor in a chase game. When the other four returned home there were snacks to distribute, homework to facilitate, instruments to practice, dinner to prepare, and emotional support (aka a listening ear for each of them). By the time they were in bed and I still had lunches to pack for the next day, I was exhausted and sore - much more than I'd been all week long with all those 7th graders. 

So how is that possible? I started to wonder if something was fundamentally wrong with me.

But I've decided that the reason my own 5 children are more challenging/exhausting for me than 100 7th graders is simply because I'm their mother. And that means that not only do I get to receive awesomely enthusiastic hugs and crawl around on the floor, I am invested in what my children are doing, what they are choosing, and how they spend their time. I care about them and how they are progressing through life.

And being truly invested takes a lot more energy than just going with the flow - which is basically what I did all week long in Bali.

So, there is, in fact, nothing wrong with me. Quite the opposite. All the good mothers I know, the ones I look up to and am trying to emulate, are exhausted by the end of the day...because all day long they were invested.

I often think back to my own Mom. Somehow she managed to work full time, make me a hot breakfast every morning, keep the house clean, do the laundry, serve in the church, and still go running with me, read my essays and attend my choir concerts. 

Was she tired? Yes. Invested? Yes. And her investment is one which I am still reaping the benefits of today.

There is a different kind of joy that comes from invested effort, don't you think? A joy more fulfilling than anything else - even Bali. Sticky banana kisses, bedtime cuddles, coaching a soccer team, cooking side by side in the kitchen. 

Small moments of incredible joy.

So to all you tired, exhausted, swollen-lipped, playdough playing, cookie baking Moms,

Happy Mother's Day!

 

A Mother's Day photo in our front yard.

Our last soccer game on the eve of Mother's Day. Coach Abbe is now just Mom again.