Mother's Day Ammendment

My Mother's Day Confession post has created a bit of a stir in our home. Particularly with my oldest, who after reading it, shrugged her shoulders and was unconvinced by the paragraph of "joyful moments" that to her seemed more of an afterthought than the main thought. And after re-reading it, I can see where my effort to be truthful came across as whiny and ungrateful. I guess you could say I'm feeling a bit of writer's remorse (kind of like buyer's remorse). I could, of course, delete the previous post. But somehow that doesn't seem right. Because my Mother's Day Confession is full of truth...just maybe not the kind of truth my 12 year old likes to hear.

So instead...let me add this amendment post.

There are a lot of things I love. I love running on the W&OD trail in the fall with the leaves crunching under my feet and cool air filling my lungs. I love reading a book that makes me cry - the leave-a-mark-on-my-soul kind of book. I love sharing a meal with friends, talking around the table while feasting on friendship and delicacies like apple pie or carrot souffle. I love sleeping in, especially when the bed is warm and the pillow is perfect and there is snow on the ground outside.  

But more than these things, I love being a Mom. I love the baby rolls, the elbow dimples, the saggy diapered-bums and the newly potty trained underwear-bums. I love morning stories, the afternoon book snuggles, and the nighttime chapter reading when we're all in pajamas. I love making cookies with a child standing on a chair at my side - both of us tasting, stirring, nibbling, rolling, and sneaking.  

I love the adventures I've shared with my children. The fruit picking, pie making, jam processing kinds. The museum going, zoo exploring, puddle jumping, NYC enjoying, snow sledding kinds. The build a fort with every blanket and pillow in our house kind. The raising rabbits and county fair kinds.

And then comes the love I feel for when I watch (usually in complete awe) as my children are brave and do hard things. Like when each of the twins had eye surgery (Tman twice, Meya once), when Leasie faced her new school here in Indonesia all by herself (her siblings were all at the other campus), when Madi joined the boys soccer team and stuck with it. When my children make good choices, even when it's not the popular thing to do. These are the times when my mother heart gets so full that I am sure this is a little bit what heaven feels like.  

When Madi was first born, I experienced what can only be described as falling in love. I was enamored with her. She could do no wrong. I couldn't wait for each day to begin. There were times I actually woke her up from her nap, because I missed her (Crazy, I know). That's how much I loved her. I didn't think I could love any deeper.

And then Leasie came. And then the twins came. And then CJ came. And I have since watched Madi serve and help in our home. I've watched my children learn to love each other. And my love just grew exponentially.

Motherhood has stretched me to my limits. And because of that stretching and growing, I have learned patience and I have experienced the kind joy that only comes from serving. I love the opportunity in my life to be needed and loved and to have loved back with fierceness and tenderness (Momma Bear mingled with Mother Teresa).

I know when I look back on my life, family and motherhood will be what I learned the most from and where I experienced the greatest joy. Very possibly, motherhood will be my greatest test in this life.

But most definitely, it will also be my greatest reward.