Or maybe it should be titled The Truth About MY Marriage...because I can really only speak for myself based on my own experiences. However, from many conversations with many female friends, I suspect that my experience is not isolated.
This weekend we celebrated our 15th Wedding Anniversary. Over a decadent dinner at The Bavarian Inn we reminisced about the past--our first rocky year (when I threw gigantic tantrums over doing laundry), our graduate school years of poverty and great friends (free dates to Borders Book Store and walking half a mile to meet for lunch in DC), our highs and lows of learning to be parents (still learning!), the joy of children, and tumultuous moves (driving across the country with a four-year-old, a two-year-old, and twin infants), and the last few years where we struggle to find the balance between work/commute & homelife. By the time the waitress brought the rich German chocolate cake dessert, we found ourselves congratulating each other for having made it this far.
Marriage is hard. Marriage takes work. We've experienced many phases of love: can't-be-apart/can't-do-wrong love; sacrificing-for-the-other-person love; should-we-stay-married? love; you-aren't-the-person-I-married love; marriage-counseling love; communication-is-the-key love; and glad-we're-still-together love.
In spite of all the ups and downs, marriage is worth it. The security, the friendship, the memories, the fun, the affection, and the opportunity to be with someone who knows you better than anyone else.
In a world where marriage is disrespected and disposable, where the happiness of "Self" comes before the happiness of "Us" or "The Other Person", where 45% of marriages end in divorce, I'm so grateful to be married to a good man who is patient and kind, and is willing to work with me on this journey.
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This is so beautifully written. You have really captured marriage in so many ways. Congrats on 15 years.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. Your are right about the different phases of married love. After 38 years we look back at the appreciate many phases and are glad we are where we are now. Thanks for the good post.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Holly, and a great place to have dinner. Too bad you couldn't take the time to stay over in one of the suites. Love keeping up on you and your family. We miss you in CP.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Holly. What a great post. I miss you and your cute kids!
ReplyDeleteI loved this post! You speak so eloquently of what a real marriage is all about. Hope you and your husband will be blessed with many more years of peace, love and joy!
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